I’m going to try to keep this post short, but it’s something I’ve been wanting to share on here for a couple days. As we’ve been working on the overall refocusing of our D/s relationship, making sure we break any old habits that had been slowing our progress has been something we’ve been working on a lot. A recent realization that my Dom and I have had is that I’ve been acting far too entitled over the last couple of months and there’s nothing worse than an entitled unfocused submissive. It took me a little while to see what he meant, but as we’ve been working through our lessons and he’s been pointing out my behavior, it’s been harder and harder to deny that he has a point. It’s a hard to explain, but as much as I need to be teased and kept at that edge of lustful desire, my priority should always have been him and his needs.
He decided that the most fitting punishment the time being is that my mouth and ass will be the only holes he penetrates and uses to cum, and that my pussy and nipples will now be solely used for discipline and punishment. His rationale is that the rough use of my mouth and ass, while my nipples and pussy are worked and tormented, should reinforce what my body is here for and what type of treatment I should expect if I remain too selfish and unfocused. It works on so many levels, being shown that he can use my body to cum without me receiving any pleasure, and then using my body parts that do bring me pleasure as sources of my discipline and punishment. On a side note, the harsher treatment of my nipples and pussy are still so intense and complex for me to deal with. Having these body parts that are so representative of my femininity and that have always been treated so gently by every other male before him being the focus of my discipline and punishment has been such a mind fuck, for lack of a better term. It’s all taken me to this new level of submissive realization and depth mentally. As harsh and as hard as it is to take, still finding moments where I love that it’s happening to me and feeling like it’s what I deserve.
I know it’s all kind of hard to understand, I’m still working on it all myself. In addition, he’s had me add kegel exercises to my time out sessions and rest periods between lessons. He explained that as much as my pussy needs to be punished and neglected by his cock, it’s no excuse for me to lose sight of how my pussy is still there for his pleasure. While I’ve been edging myself in front of him he’s been encouraging me to involve deeper finger penetration and pushing me to get myself as wet as I possibly can too. I guess you could say he’s been pushing me to increasing my focus on breaking my own limits and embracing my role as a true whore.
I would love to get into this a little more but I have to go for now!
Devotional Training: A Progression.